"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by
them."
John F. Kennedy
A few days ago I walked onto the grounds where we live as one of the neighbour's cats ran towards me and started rubbing her little head against my legs. I bent down to pet her but my thoughts had been on my appointment I was coming from. The little furry creature quickly made me aware of my inattention in her company and bang, she gave me two fine swipes and scratched my hand nicely. I could not blame her, it was completely my fault; I was simply not paying attention to her and most cats just do not like that. The cat did not run away, she just wanted me to focus on her. Once I gave her my attention and was fully present giving her my love, she started purring happily, as I too enjoyed the moment very much.
This cat made me think. Very often we are just not happy with doing what we do because we are somewhere else with our thoughts and do not pay attention to the here and now. Hence we might find a meeting boring, cannot find an accord with a client, lose control while helping the children with their homework etc.
As soon as we pay attention and focus on our present activities and the people we are with in that very moment we turn whatever we do into something important. We live in the present and might actually enjoy what we are doing and whom we are with. When we are focused and enjoy something, we create better results and relationships. Showing attention gives us the possibility to live our life to the full and to be grateful for what we have; and that in return gives us a peace of mind and more balance in life.
Examples:
When we pay attention to the participants and the agenda of a meeting we make everything more important and show our respect. The
mood changes, we can participate actively in the meeting and all of a sudden it becomes more interesting, more fun and more fruitful.
Paying attention while talking to our client and focusing on them we are giving them the feeling of being most important to us and we show them our respect. We can attune to them (building rapport), our communication will bring better results and we can create a win-win situation.
While helping our children with their homework and paying attention to them we can re-connect with them, show them how important they are to us and show interest in their lives. This will help us to tighten the bonds and gain their trust.
Experiment:
Just for one day try to pay attention to everything you do and to every person you are with. Fulfil your duties as if it was the
most important thing in your life - and show gratitude.
When you wash the dishes do it as if it was the most important activity you could possibly do at that moment. Be happy that you have so many nice dishes to wash and the possibility to do that with clean water and in freedom.
When you clean the house, do it with all your attention and presence. Be grateful that you have a house you can clean.
When your partner wants to have yet another conversations about his job, pay them your full attention, show them your respect and try to walk in their shoes. Be grateful that you have your partner who trusts you and that you are not alone.
You might wonder how much more fun you are going to have in your life. You will feel much better because everything you do at any given moment is important and gives you the opportunity to show gratitude. You will enjoy your life more and be happier - hence you will gain more balance in your life.
This tip is not meant to tell you never to think about the future again and make plans for it. It is more a recommendation that when you do so - pay attention to it and focus on it completely.
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Best wishes,
Sibylle Chaudhuri
sibylle chaudhuri
coaching & training
info@sibylle-chaudhuri.co.uk
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