sibylle chaudhuri | coaching & training
Systemic and NLP Coach
Newsletter - May 2010
On the Bank Holiday weekend (... yes, the rainy and cold one ...) my husband and I went out with some friends. While chatting with many different people during the evening I noticed one thing in particular that nearly all had in common: More or less every single one was worrying about something in their lives.
I myself tend to worry as well, although the past has shown me there is, in most cases, nothing to worry about. You might disagree with me right now, but let's talk a bit about worries.
Did you know that "worry" is a verb not a noun? We do worry. It is an activity; we do set up worst case scenarios and think about everything that could possibly go wrong. We mix things up with our thoughts - it is nothing that just happens to us. Also, we might not be able to control the kind of thoughts in our mind - positive or negative - but we can control what thought we dwell on. There is a quote from paraplegic motivational speaker W. Mitchell setting this in the right light:
"Before I was paralyzed there were 10,000 things I could do. Now there are 9,000. I can either dwell on the 1,000 I have lost or focus on the 9,000 I have left."
We do worry about something that happened in our past or something that might happen in the future. That is exactly where the problem with worrying lies: The past is over and done, there is nothing left we can do about; hence, we cannot control it anymore. The future is yet to come and again we have no control over it. The only moment we do have control over is the one right now - the presence.
If you are not in complete agony at the moment or just jumped out of the 30th floor racing head over towards a concrete sidewalk without a parachute you are most likely alright in this very moment. There is an old Irish philosophy that explains this phenomenon with a little bit more humor:
"There are only two things to worry about - are you sick or are you well?
If you're well, there's nothing to worry about. And if you're sick, there are only two things to worry about - will you live or will you die?
If you live, there's nothing to worry about. And if you die, there are only two things to worry about - will you go to heaven or will you go to hell?
If you go to heaven, there's nothing to worry about. And if you go to hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends that there's nothing to worry about."
Finding the moment and being present is very relaxing and peaceful experience. It can help us to find clarity and insights and can increase our intuition. And then again, these are very good helpers to make peace with the past and plan our future. While trying to be present in this very moment we can stop worrying.
Whenever you start worrying in the next few days try the following:
1. Stretch yourself as much as you can and then relax.
2. Take a few deep breaths through your nose into your belly and exhale through your mouth (sigh if possible).
3. Now, ask yourself if you are alright in this very moment (are you safe and feeling well this very moment?), and this one of course and this one now ... ;-)
Realise how you start feeling after doing so. The more often you do it, the better you will get in becoming attuned to the present and stop worrying.
My goal is to give as many people as possible access to these simple yet highly effective tips. Hence I would be happy if you forward this e-mail to family, friends and colleagues. This is a monthly newsletter.
Until next month I wish you well,
coaching & training
Systemic and NLP Coach
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© sibylle chaudhuri | coaching & training