Are you getting enough hugs?

Sibylle Chaudhuri

18th February 2021


Picture from Pixels on Pixabay
Picture from Pixels on Pixabay

I don’t know about you, but every now and then the lockdown with all the social distancing is getting to me. I miss meeting friends and family and hugging them all. Yes, I really do feel hug deprived at times ;-).


The lack of physical contact can indeed cause all sorts of problems for us human beings, physically and psychologically. Our self-esteem sinks, we become insecure, less creative and less productive. In exchange we become touchier and even aggressive.


Virginia Satir, a successful American family therapist and author once said,

“We need four hugs a day for survival.

We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance.

We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”


Why are hugs so important in your life?

Picture from John Hain on Pixabay
Picture from John Hain on Pixabay

Hugs are so important in our life. They make us happier and healthier. Hugs increase our feeling of safety and belonging. They reduce stress and increase our self-esteem. All this helps us to work creatively and productively. Hugs strengthen our immune system and our heart, reduce anxiety and even pain. Hugs help us to stay centered and well-balanced. Hugs and tender touch in general help us to stay stable in times of crisis.


Of course, this is important for all of us, and as leaders it would be good to take this even more to your heart. When you are emotionally, mentally and physically well-balanced, you can help others to become the same. Just imagine what a fantastic working atmosphere and teamwork you could create.


So now, what can we do in times of COVID 19, or any other time we find ourselves alone and in dire need of a huge … not to mention twelve?!


How to get your hugs?

Pictures from Rebecca Schönbrodt-Rühl, Myriams-Fotos, Mikhail Timofeev on Pixabay



1. Hug and cuddle your pet – whether it’s a dog, cat, horse, hamster, cow or goat doesn’t matter. Every little helps, and every living being needs affection. It is not the same as hugging a human being or being hugged by one, but it releases the same hormones into our body, Oxytocin and Serotonin. They make us feel appreciated, happy and safe; they reduce stress as well as our blood pressure, etc.


Picture from Please Don’t sell My Artwork AS IS  on Pixabay
Picture from Please Don’t sell My Artwork AS IS on Pixabay



2. Hug yourself. Sounds silly? Well, maybe, but it works. Fold your arms around you in a way that feels natural and comfortable to you. You can rest your hands on your upper arm, your shoulders or the side of your torso. Maybe you would like to imagine that someone hugs you who you like and feel safe and comfortable with; or you concentrate on yourself. Now, squeeze yourself with enough pressure to feel comfortable.


3. Touch your upper arms with your hands and gently stroke up and down your arms.





Pictures from Robert1234, Mora Barbulescu, Kranich17 on Pixabay




4. Hug a pillow, blanket, jacket, plush toy, or anything with a soft texture.


5. Hug a tree. There is nothing like hugging mother nature to ground us, to make us feel one with all and secure. Close your eyes, feel its texture and smell the tree bark. 


6. Hug yourself emotionally with positive affirmations by leaving Post-it notes all over your place, e.g. put a Post-it note …

  • … on your bathroom mirror saying, “you have the most beautiful smile”.
  • … on your laptop telling you, “You can make it, you have all that it takes”.
  • … on your fridge letting you know, “You are beautiful”.
  • … on the wall above your workplace encouraging you, “You are doing grate, you got this”.
  • … stick smileys everywhere and every time you see one smile and hug yourself.


And when we are back to “normal” – and we will get there, promise – just hug your loved ones whenever they want to do so too, and ask for hugs whenever you need one. 


Following is a little movie I found for you on youtube to lighten up your mood and to show you that every living being needs hugs:




So long, stay healthy and be well.







inner works for you


sibylle chaudhuri | coaching & training



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Everything provided in this newsletter is for informational, motivational and/or educational purposes only. Whether you change/do something in your life is your decision and yours only. You carry responsibility for your life.


The given content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, psychological and/or legal advice, diagnosis, treatment or consulting. Please consult your physician, therapist, lawyer regarding the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your concerns, symptoms and/or medical condition.



© sibylle chaudhuri | coaching & training




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sibylle chaudhuri

inner works for you
coaching & training

Ratingen / Duesseldorf

fon +49 (0)172 649 49 26